Beginners Guide To Sex Toys

Self-pleasure can seem like a daunting task to many women. Feelings of sexual shame and confusion by all the misinformation out there about female orgasms can overwhelm many of us. So, let’s break down this process and hopefully help you be able to better connect with your body. Because as a woman, your body houses the potential for so. much. pleasure. And it is your divine right to have access to it all. 

Here are some of my favorite tips and tricks when it comes to a self- pleasure practice:

1. Get comfortable and set the mood.

It doesn’t have to be your stereotypical lighting of candles with some romantic jazz or baby- making R&B in the background… but it can be if that’s what you like. Especially if you know certain music makes you hot. Maybe throw on some lingerie and stare at how sexy you look in the mirror to get your mind turned on before you even hop into bed with yourself. The most important thing is that you create an environment where you are at ease, your guard is down, and you’re able to give yourself permission to experience pleasure.

2.Deep breathing.

Before you even start touching your yoni, take 3-5 deep, grounding breaths. You can use your fingertips to touch your skin and pull the breath up towards your heart. This will help get you out of your head and into your body. 

3.Toys are your friends.

Especially when you’re first starting out and learning how to allow your body to feel certain types of pleasure. Women are capable of achieving multiple different types of orgasms, from clitoral, to G-spot, to cervical, to the “elusive” squirting orgasm. And there are handy dandy sex toys that are specifically designed to help you achieve whatever type of orgasm you crave. And if you don’t even know where to begin when it comes to sex toys, don’t worry- I got you.


For clitoral orgasms-
You can purchase any trusty vibrator that will stimulate your clit if you want some sensation beyond your own hands. However, I recommend checking out toys that simulate a “sucking” sensation, rather than a true vibration. A regular vibrator can be overwhelming or too intense for some women, and the sucking sensation is much more realistic to the feeling of your partner going down on you.

For G-spot orgasms- 

There are “G-spot specific” vibrators out there on the market if you just do a little Google search. These toys are curved specifically to be able to stimulate your G-spot with the right amount of pressure and force. And if you’re looking into teaching yourself how to have a squirting orgasm, a G-spot vibrator will do the trick. 

For cervical orgasms-
I highly recommend purchasing a wand (glass, crystal, or metal) in order to give yourself a cervical orgasm. Not only are they designed to be able to penetrate you deep enough in order to stimulate your cervix, they also tend to be relatively heavy, and that weight will add to the feeling of fullness and pleasure within your yoni. 

For multiple orgasms-
Now this is where everything really gets fun. Combining your pleasure. For example, the traditional “rabbit” sex toy (do a quick search and you’ll find plenty of options) will stimulate your G-spot, clit, and cervix (if it’s long enough to reach). So rather than having a single, isolated orgasm, you now get to have three at once. And that’s why you hear stories of women having “full body orgasms where they’re seeing stars.” You’re welcome.

I’ve included below some of my favorite sex toy brands with discount codes for you to use if you’re ready to add to your toolbox of pleasure. 

Check out “The Empress,” which can be purchased here with discount code “COWDEN65” for 65% off your purchase.

Wanting your own beautiful sex wand? Go to and use code “MICHAELA” for 10% off your purchase.

I hope this information has allowed you to feel more empowered in having a self-pleasure practice and more turned on to connecting with your own body. There is an endless amount of pleasure available to you. Now go have fun exploring.

Written by, Michaela Cowden

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